User talk:Daric Gaersmith/TES Fan Fiction Collection/Reading Fan Fiction/The Vampire's Tale

Re:Read and enjoyed

Normally, I'd respond on my own page, but since I am replying more directly to your critique, I figure that on the page proper would be the best to write it. :)

Thank you for the interesting critiquing of my story, and I am glad you enjoyed it. I've added your page to my Watchlist so that I can be notified when it's updated.

For a response to your wonderful critiques: For better or worse I was deliberately vague on "when" the story was. Mind you, the first installment of Tale was written pre-Skyrim, so I had no knowledge of dates that happened post-Oblivion Crisis. After the fact, I attached 4E 2 to the story as the date, though it's never mentioned in the story. I opted for so close to post-Oblivion Crisis, because I figured that the story would do best in the calm before the storm and I wouldn't have to focus excessively on unrelated event that wouldn't serve to advance the story.

About Gallen's lifetime and story: I was vague on that too. I didn't plan on the story being about Gallen at first, as I commentated about on the "Chapter Selection" page. The story was told from his perspective, but I wanted it to be the vampire's story, hence the title "The Vampire's Tale".

I didn't develop a solid story about Gallen until I started writing a sequel for my friends' benefit. His story is expanded upon in Part 5 "Stories". It's more of a transition piece between 4 and 6, and his life story wouldn't spoil the plot of the story if I gave it to you up front.

"There's not much to say about me. I was raised in Stros M'Kai, I enlisted in the Imperial Army at 19, and I've been in the military since then. It wasn't until only a few years ago that I found time to start a family. I met Amelia when I was attached to Cheydinhal's garrison shortly before the Oblivion Crisis on a routine mission to secure the Castle for the Royal Family to make a visit.

"We fell in love, and after over three decades of service to the Emperor, I secured my discharge and we were wed..."

I was looking at his back story as if he spent years and years working, but only found time to slow life down and relax after he met Amelia, at which time he requested a discharge from the Blades. As for his gear, I compared it to real life where you'd keep your uniform when you left, and he was wearing this gear out of comfort. He's going into possible combat against undead beings that he's never properly fought before, so he'd opt for what he knew how to wear and carry so that he'd feel more comfortable when it came time for combat.

"The Vampire's Tale" was the first time I've tried to write a fanfiction, and I did it when I was new to the wiki and was writing alone without the thoughts and insights of friends to help me, so it lacks the... Preciseness and polish that the newer chapters have, in my opinion. I look forward to your posting what you have to say about the rest of the Tale. It's certainly useful information that could help me better if I decided to write a second fanfiction.

Also, completely unrelated, but I'm 20 :) ES^{(talk•email)} 20:59, 23 January 2013 (GMT)

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I do hope my comments are useful to you somehow, although, as I say, they are mostly for my own benefit as I get ready to write my own fan fiction. I guess my own discrimination against sapient vampires in Tamriel led me to associate more with Gallen than with Jean Pierre in the first chapter of your story, hence my wondering about his past.

Apologies for my comment about your age, by the way. I guess I was thinking of some teens these days who think that 40 is "over the hill", so Gallen would, in that mindset, be well past his "use by" date.

It is great to read your reasoning behind some of the things that I brought into question about the first chapter of your tale, but please don't feel that you need to explain or defend your writing, it stands perfectly well as it is. My comments are purely about what I like and what I don't like when reading fan fiction, to give me a guide as to how I might write my own work. You may have noticed the character backgrounds that I am developing for my storyline. They are there to help me write, to keep my story as internally consistent as possible. They are tools on my writing desk, just as my comments about other peoples fan fiction are, yours included. My objective is not to delve into your brain and find all the "whys" and "wherefores" of your fan fiction writing. Rather, my objective is to get my own brain working in new ways, by exposing it to other peoples creativity. But don't let that stop you replying to my comments about your fan-fic. Your reply above gives me even more to think about, and I am grateful to you for that. – Daric↝talk 00:42, 24 January 2013 (GMT)

I understand, I understand. I was just explaining more about Gallen and my choices writing it, because with hindsight, I can look back over a year and 6 chapters later and see all the faults the story has, so I wanted to clarify it. :p ES^{(talk•email)} 00:49, 24 January 2013 (GMT)